Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Flip.

I have just gone and done it again. Ending relationships suck. Especially when you've just moved out with the dude. Oh well, I guess we better call Kenards, again! My things are staying put, and I'm keeping the kitten. So once all this boils down I prey that I can start afresh. 

Arrrrrggghhh!! Why did I torment myself? Force myself into believing something was there when it was clear, that it was not. 

People have crapped on about love since the beginning of time, for the last year and a bit - I've ignored it. 

Sex is important right? I am supposed to want to have it, and furthermore enjoy it when it does happen. I do not remember the last time I felt sexy. Well, I kind of do. But that was a *insert months here* wee while ago.

Kisses, making out, passionate pashing, lips, fresh breath, excitement fun and joy with my mouth. Thats what I want.

-These are all signs. Signs to trust your goddam instincts woman.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Ready to be honest..

Fuelled by a screaming match with my older brother, Im ready to tell everyone, just like I told him, to get the fuck out of my life.
What I am going through right now, is not a phase, not a cross roads either, it is - a fucking nightmare.

It is most frustrating living between my 'brother and mothers' house and that of my boyfriends.
I have never wanted to be more alone, I long for the week where I wake up in a bedroom that belongs to me, with only my own things, unsexed sheets that smell only of me, to enjoy a coffee and a modest and peaceful breakfast each morning.

I've spent the most part of last year travelling the world, and discovering new parts of myself. I'v been jobless and spent most my leisure time smoking pot, drinking, and other adrenalin infiltrated activities. Living a gypsies lifestyle isn't all its cracked up to be, my belongings are scattered between a handful of houses and none of which I am comfortable enough to rest.

The feelings I long for are freedom, peace and love. and in that order.